It’s Cupid, Stupid

Once again it is that time of the year when the air smells mushy and love songs galore. The love struck couples seem abundant like mushrooms and tadpoles after the rain only to dissipate quickly enough with the follow-up breakups, hopping away from their love struck cupids as they learn to jump. With the media moguls pitching in their best, with tacky ads and too-much-in-love couples, you’ll be forced to get sucked into the deadly retail trap with the ‘love marketing’ bandwagon blowing their trumpets a notch higher than the previous year. Red roses, dresses and chocolates vanish in an abyss faster than you sneeze and say “aachoo”.

So before you spend your emotions with your money, consider a few facts. The “Valentine’s Day” spending is slated to hit 18.9 billion mark in the US alone. Yes! You read it correct. Now, before you spend on the usual card, chocolate, red rose, gift routine. Here’s a list of a few things to consider before you swipe the card and make the purchase, do things a little ‘different’ this year.

List of carefully thought gifts you could look at.

1.) Dump the rose and go for the evergreen grass: By grass I don’t mean marijuana, but the humble widely growing patch of garden grass. Pitch it to your beloved this way: “Honey my love is not like the red rose which withers the next day, but like the shaft of green grass which is abundant and long-lasting.”

2.) Two papers and a glue stick: Stick the papers (preferably pink and heart-shaped for the desired effect) with the glue when in front of her and say “Our love is like this glue which sticks us together eternally”

3.) A pair of sharp scissors: (This is risky but deadly!) “Even if you cut me, I shall always be yours.” (Told you it is risky!)

4.) A bar of butter: (Preferably at room temperature) “Baby diamonds are hard and heartless by my heart melts like this (hand over the gooey butter at this point) when I see you”

5.) A bottle of strain-remover: “Baby my love shall leave no strain on your heart even if you try and remove it with this (hand her the bottle)

Do try them at your own discretion and preferably with running shoes on in case you have to hit the door faster than you give the gift.